Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
