So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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