Capitaan dildo arrescate!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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