I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
