Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
