Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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