Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
