is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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