We're like a lot better than the average bears
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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