theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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