i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
