i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
