Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
