i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
