Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
