I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
