ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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