she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
