you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
