the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
