I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
