M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
