dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Help me help you realize you are a moron
that may or may not have been my penis.
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