plz talk dirty to me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
