So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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