i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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