Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
