you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
