We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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