it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
