I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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