It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
