We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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