also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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