So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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