this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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