My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
