Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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