We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hippo gnu deer
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
