he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
