Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
