o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
