We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
