after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im holly from the hills drunk
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sorry my hands just texted you
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
