with your own penis?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
