He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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