Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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