I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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