fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
