Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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